The Love of God and the Body

Times are tough. How do we feel the love of God when there’s so much chaos and confusion?

I find that when I’m seeking to understand principles, that breaking down even the simplest of words helps provide context. So, let’s start there. What is the love of God? And what is love from God, or God’s love?

From = indicating a point in space or time from which a journey, motion, action, process, event or activity starts.

Of = a relationship between a part and a whole.

Love from God, is the love that comes from his person. It is the unconditional love that he offers to everyone. This is God’s love—that deep, abiding love that emanates from him without any requirement on our part. He loves you simply because you are his child. End of discussion.

The love of God, however, is how his love relates to us as individuals–what it looks like, how we connect with it, how we feel that which emanates from him. It is the relationship between us and God. That means that the love of God requires some effort on our part, as all relationships do. And, like any relationship, it requires attention/focus, communication, and a mutual building of trust. We have to act “rightly” within a relationship or it fails. And learning to act rightly is a process that takes practice. In a divine-human relationship we might call this practice of acting rightly, “righteousness”.

Acting rightly, means honoring and respecting the person we’ve entered into a relationship with. It means we understand the nature of the relationship with that person, and we do our part to maintain it. With that understanding, when we don’t feel the love of God, it might be easy to look at our lives and start listing off all the things we’re not doing, or doing poorly, essentially turning relationship into a quantifiable checklist that we can somehow fix by doing “more”. But I’d like to suggest that the ability to feel the love of God is less about what you’re doing, or not doing, and more about how you’re BEING.

One of the greatest gifts God has given us is our body. When we are not present in our bodies, we can’t really feel the love of God. For example, have you ever had a conversation where you weren’t fully present and you didn’t hear a word the other person said? Those moments don’t build relationship, because you’ve checked out. You can’t receive from someone you’re not paying attention to. We have to pay attention to God to receive from him, but we also have to pay attention to ourself as well and make sure we’re in a state where we can interact and receive. This requires presence.  

When we’re not present in the body, we are not able to focus our attention, feel or hear what’s being communicated, or engage in ways that build trust and love between parties–checking out means relationship cannot flow. We have to re-establish flow. And doing that through being instead of doing, can make all the difference between feeling loved and feeling hopeless and forgotten.

We first need to understand that coping mechanisms, or substitutions for the love of God, don’t deliver real comfort. They are a counterfeits that satiate the body for a time, but leave it hungry for more. We practice substitution, or coping mechanisms, in part to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions or sensations in the body. When we neglect, reject, abuse, distract, keep busy, engage in addiction, or disrespect the body, we numb our ability to feel the love of God because… Love is felt and experienced in the body.

In order to more fully feel the love of God, we need to practice being present in the body, feeling all the feels and sensations life has to offer, even the uncomfortable ones. This takes practice, sometimes it takes therapy, or counselling, but ultimately it begins with coming to understand how we respond to stress, chaos and adversity—things that negatively affect the nervous system and bring it into a state of dysregulation.  

One powerful way we can positively influence a dysregulated nervous system is through breathing. As we learn to regulate the nervous system through conscious breathing, calming fight-flight-freeze reactions (when there is no physical danger), we can be more present in the body. Being present and regulated in the body, allows us to empty out the stress, negativity, and tension, making room to receive things like the love of God. Breathing can replace distraction, busyness, addiction, and provide a calming, centering, grounding connection to self and God. It provides us with more agency because we are not being run by autopilot actions, we are calm enough to step back and consider our situation more rationally.

In my opinion, the biggest stumbling block in our ability to connect with God and feel his love isn’t our shortcomings. We can do all the obedient and worshipful things on the checklist, hoping for change and rescue and connection, but our physiology quickly returns to stress patterns, anxiety, fear and addictive coping behaviors as soon as we close our scriptures, get off our knees, or leave the temple–because we haven’t trained THE BODY to be different. You can’t live your religion solely in your head. If it’s not in your muscles, sinew and cells, it’s not really yours. The body becomes the mind calling the shots over the actual mind if you’re not living consciously and centering your body in the breath, the calm, and the peace that allows you to connect to Jesus.  

In order to really feel the love of God, you have to make peace with being IN your body. Self-care and self-respect are essential, but the fastest way I know to feel peace with, and in, my body is to breathe and be still—and return to my breath and stillness often. Because, unfailingly, the phone will ping with a notification, the bully will comment on the post, and adversity and chaos will rain down on life and trigger the nervous system into dysregulation. The breath is always accessible, no matter where you are. A few slow exhales and a reminder that you are safe (if you actually are) can initiate the process of regulation. The momentum of practice is what changes us over time. Instead of defaulting to unhelpful behaviors, we eventually default to the breath. And when you understand that it is God who put the breath of life into you, you begin to understand that when you breathe, you connect to him.

Disclaimer: The content of this website is intended for personal reflection and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for qualified professional medical, psychological, or spiritual advice. By engaging with the content in this podcast, through any source—in person or online—you are agreeing to the terms and conditions in our liability and release waivers. The links are posted in the show notes and on our website. All views expressed — including interpretations of scripture or spiritual practice — reflect the host’s personal experience and are not affiliated with any specific church or institution. Please take what resonates with your journey, and leave the rest with care.

For monthly embodiment exercises, as well as journal and creative prompts, please sign up for the newsletter.