Ever struggle to feel clear about what you want? This article and accompanying free .pdf worksheets will help you look at a few things that may be blocking you from receiving clarity.
What is Clarity?
The basic definition for the kind of clarity we’re talking about is:
Knowing what you want and how to get it.
Why don’t I feel clear about what I want?
Highly creative, highly sensitive and healing women tend to struggle with clarity. Why? We feel pulled in many directions; we feel a need to protect ourselves from the bombardment of stimuli in the world; we feel protective of our often-fragile emotional health and well-being. Any or all of these things may affect us. In addition, we sometimes listen to voices outside of ourselves, giving power to those who “know better”. We lack confidence; we feel insecure in our own judgment. We fear criticism. We fear vulnerability. We fear pain.
When we come from a self-protective, fearful, or confused place we limit our ability to see our path and potential. We feel surrounded by fog, unable to get clear. We are not as open to receiving as we might be when we are surrounded by walls (invisible or physical). Likewise, when we come from a place of spreading our energy too thin, in too many places, projects, etc. it also blocks clarity because we can’t get enough energy behind our efforts to make informed decisions.
Let’s take a minute to discover what your fog is made of. Download the printable worksheet Steps to Finding Clarity for this article and fill out section 1.
Bonus question: Now that you have an idea of what your fog is made of, what is one thing you could do to start breaking through that fog?
How can I figure out what I want?
This is the million-dollar question. And there are two possibilities that may keep you from answering this question.
1). You either already have an idea of what you want, but don’t believe you can actually have it.
2). You don’t know how to get what you want.
These are both things I have really struggled with personally. When you feel like you can’t have what you want, you may continue to search for something more “realistic”. This only creates confusion because you already know what you want, but in telling yourself you can’t have it your mind can never settle on anything as acceptable. Everything seems to feel off because you are avoiding the thing you know is right.
If you don’t know how to get what you want you may do the same thing—keep searching for something else because you don’t know where to begin. Or you’ll forever “research” what others are doing instead of taking steps yourself. This may indicate unaddressed fear. But it can also just be that you don’t know how to get started. In that case I recommend talking to people, asking questions, hire a coach, read a book. Anything that will get your started. Once you take a step toward what you know you want to do you’ll begin to find answers.
If, on the other hand, you really have no idea what you want, there are probably themes that you may not be seeing in your life that are pointing toward paths that hold meaning for you. Take a minute to answer section 2 on the Steps to Finding Clarity worksheet.
How can I get clarity fast?
Unfortunately, for most of us, there are no hacks to discovering what you really want. It takes some work, some trial and error, some experimenting, some self-reflection, some gaining of courage. Once you acknowledge some of the elements in your fog and work toward removing them, it will get easier to receive clarity.
Receiving is key to clarity. Women often have trouble receiving. If we can’t give to ourselves, how can we expect to give ourselves the gift of clarity? We must be open to receiving. Being open implies not being protective in ways that stunt our own growth and keep us blocked. We are often the biggest obstacle in our own way. It takes some humility to admit and tackle that fact. If you have trouble receiving, then implementing self-care strategies into your life will make a huge difference.
Bonus question: What ways do I self-care?
Self-care is not just pampering yourself physically by performing grooming routines. Self-care is action that feeds the body-mind-emotion-spirit connection. So that would include eating well, exercising, some form of meditation/relaxation, emotional processing, spiritual connection, continued learning, creative self-expression. All of these things bring balance, peace and fulfillment to life. So again, in what ways do you self-care?
Where do I begin?
While we’re working on our issues that create fog and learning to receive without fear, the key to finding clarity is to make a decision to try something. In this process, you will get feedback from your own heart, from others, from your environment, from your time constraints, from your interests, from your intuition, etc. All these things will give you information that will help you make decisions. Decisions are the tools that whittle away the excess and the counterfeits, revealing a little more clarity bit by bit.
Remember that if you try something and it’s not a fit, or you just don’t want to continue with something that’s okay! Moving on, or even having less than desirable results is NOT failure. It’s an education! Fill out section 3 & 4 on the Steps to Finding Clarity worksheet.
Some Thoughts from one who has been there.
Try not to stress about the process of receiving clarity and making decisions. You don’t want to jump into something before you are ready. Life seems to unfold at just the right time. Trust that it will unfold for you. And please don’t judge yourself for “getting it wrong”. I’ve tried countless things over the years. I felt I was making a mess. I felt stupid, unsuccessful, and self-conscious. But in hindsight I can see that all those “messes” were actually important stepping stones that provided education and experience that I absolutely needed to help me figure out what I really wanted.
So, let’s end with our Steps to Finding Clarity worksheet section 5. These are some affirmations to help you open up to receiving more clarity. Start saying things to yourself. They will help facilitate the process of receiving and power up your belief!
This Week’s Challenge
Print and complete the clarity worksheet that goes along with this article.
Additional Thought on Clarity:
Clarity also comes with confidence and believing in yourself. Remember: You are Enough!