Does Scrolling Leave You Dissatisfied?

In my last article I wrote about the irony of modern influence. Today I’d like to address more social media mayhem.

I’m not a huge social media fan. I’ve had to force myself to share on social platforms over the years. I have not been consistent, so I have a very small social “following” on my two Instagram feeds. Each less than 100 people. And my algorithmic reach is like 3 people per post max! My Facebook friend list is larger, but again, low engagement— maybe in the teens per post for comments and likes, with an occasional post getting wider attention.

I’m not great at engaging on other people’s posts either because that’s not how I like to spend my time. So, to the algorithm, I’m irrelevant. And that’s okay.

I have, however, spent enough time on social media, and heard enough research, to understand how it affects people.

Doomscrolling. We’ve all heard the term—the compulsive behavior where a person continues scrolling through bad news rather than stopping. I would expand that definition to include compulsively scrolling even beautiful content that makes you feel crappy because your life isn’t like the images or video you’re watching. It leaves you unfulfilled, unhappy, anxious, or feeling totally screwed by life because of what you don’t have. It’s like bad news for your life.

YOU’RE NOT THIS BEAUTIFUL, SO…

YOU’RE NOT TRAVELLLING LIKE ME, SO….

YOU’RE 20 LBS OVER WEIGHT, SO…..

YOU DON’T HAVE A HOUSE THAT YOU’RE REMODELLING, SO…

You don’t drive this car, have this job, have these connections, have this portfolio, have this skill…..

Lack. Lack. Lack.

You’re always lacking.

There’s this disconnect that has been planted in people’s brains since smart phones gained widespread use that when they feel down, instead of getting up and taking a walk, researching financial independence, planning a trip, meal prepping, calling a friend, or acknowledging their good qualities, they get on their phone and “check out”, while simultaneously checking their mind in to the hotel of inadequacy where they “rest” their heads on the bed of anxiety, anger and unhappiness.

We’re not present. We’re habitual. We don’t stop and say: How is this making me feel in my body right now? Do I want to feel that way? If not, what can I do to go start living the life I do want to live? Because chances are, the life you’re pining over on your phone and the life that’s actually best for you, are not the same. You’re being told algorithmically what to desire and seek and emulate. But is it what you really want?

What if we stopped and asked ourself: What is the emotion this image makes me want in my life? And how can I bring that emotion into my life in a way that suits me and my lifestyle goals? Do I even have any lifestyle goals?

For example (and this is an example for the ladies, but guys you get the gist), you see an image of a gorgeous woman in a meadow and feel a longing for a certain lifestyle. Can you identify the emotion you feeling? Does it make you feel a sense of freedom? Is it the connection to nature that appeals to you? Is it the feminine vibe of her dress blowing in the breeze? Something else? There are many ways to experience the same emotion, be it freedom, connection to nature, femininity, or something else. Standing in a meadow in a dress is not the only way to feel these feelings. It’s important to ask yourself what emotions you want to feel and then find real ways to experience them that complement who you are.

You are the author of your life. You are writing the story. Do you really want your story to read:

Once upon a time, a girl (or guy) sat on her (or his) phone, wishing.

The End.

Is that how you want the story to go?

Only you can change it. If you must be on social media, use it consciously, intentionally. Be aware of your body and emotions while you use it. Disconnect if it’s having a negative effect on you, and remember you can always find customized ways to build the life of your dreams through decision, action and hard work. Checking out can be necessary at times, but is the mode of “check out” your pursing helping or hindering your life?

Something to think about.

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