Being an empath I’ve read a few empath books over the years. This book is by FAR the best book on the empath trait that I have ever read, and I highly recommend it.
First off, it’s not written by psychologist who studies empaths. It’s written by an actual empath. And second, it offers the most practical advice I have ever heard.
Many books or coaches I’ve encountered have recommended putting an energetic “bubble” around yourself that only let’s positive energies in. Or they’ve advised visualizing a protective shield to bounce negative emotions off of. None of which EVER worked for me.
You can’t shut off life, nor the flow of energy. You can’t pretend you didn’t notice that subtle shift in your partner’s energy toward annoyance. You can’t ignore that the stranger across the table from you at a party is uncomfortable. You notice stuff that other people don’t notice and you can’t just “bubble” or “shield” your way out of it.
In this book, the author postulates that “Radical Self-Care” is the key to remaining emotionally healthy as an empath. So I put her claims to the test. I started paying more attention to what I needed in any given moment and taking better care of my body by doing yoga and deep relaxation. I strted noticing that I needed to alternate my activities to feel good. If I’m sitting too long, I needed to do something active and vice versa. I started asking myself “What do I need right now?” And you know what? For me, that was the key.
I can feel a huge difference in my ability to cope, have clarity, feel strong, and be centered even in the midst of overwhelming influences when I take care of myself first and in the ways I need to. It’s definitely a mind shift from constantly being attuned to the needs and energies of others to honing in on the needs and energies within yourself. But the effort is well worth it.
The author gives exercises for applying the ideas she teaches in the book. She also discusses addictions, which many empaths use to numb the pain and overwhelm associated with being hyper-aware . I call these addictions the “drug of choice”. They don’t necessarily have to be vices. An addiction is anything that you use to regularly distract yourself from being present in your own body.
Although I had been aware of many of my own drugs of choice, I assumed they were merely a coping strategy for too much stress, which is true. But it was deeper than that. Reading this book helped me understand how my coping mechanisms connected to my empathic nature. Actually, this book helped me connect a lot of dots that I had already discovered but hadn’t really brought together. And it was a huge validation to read the words of a complete stranger as she described so many of my feelings and tendencies perfectly.
If you’re an empath, or think you might be, highly recommend this book!